Disconnecting without disappearing

I often struggle with the idea of disconnecting without disappearing. Without disappointing. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before, but I get jealous of people who aren’t on social media. My mom doesn’t have a single account. She doesn’t even have a voicemail! (Mom, you’re so cool)

I desire to read more but… instead I scroll through Instagram.

I ignore Twitter… but I miss current events.

I leave my iPhone in the other room… but miss texts from my friends.

I wonder, “If I disconnect, maybe I’ll love it.” “Would it affect business?”

I see women being really mean to other women on the Internet.

Every comment section is…the worst.

Flip phones interest me.

But GIFS and memes are really funny.



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  • Reply nikkiana

    It’s such a balancing act, isn’t it?

    I’ve been working on closing the laptop or putting down the phone instead of mindlessly scrolling, but sometimes mindlessly scrolling is what brings me to some amazing reads.

    January 19, 2015 at 10:55 AM
    • Reply Allison

      Yes! I’m not able to say that social media, blogging or connectedness is a BAD thing but it’s all about balance. Well said!

      January 19, 2015 at 5:03 PM
  • Reply Ryan / The Blooming Thread

    I am right there with you. As a small business owner, I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to be have a great blog (with new content daily of course), & have thousands of followers on instagram, facebook & twitter that I’m chatting on all the time, on each platform!

    In the meantime, I’m a solopreneur, running a business! It makes me feel like if I don’t at least have a foot in the door, trying to keep up.. me and my shop will just get left behind and readers will move on to the next person posting, tweeting, and uploading pretty pics.

    January 19, 2015 at 12:59 PM
    • Reply Allison

      Totally!! You worry people will forget you and stop referring work! I think it’s important to find outlets that come naturally (for me it’s Instagram and blogging) and less about Twitter and FB.

      January 19, 2015 at 5:04 PM
  • Reply Dara

    I totally hear you! For what it’s worth, I disconnected a lot from social media last year – I wrote a lot less on my blog and I stopped posting so much on Twitter – and I had a much better business year than the one before. That being said, this year I’m aiming to connect a bit more, except this time, hopefully in more meaningful/less forced ways. I feel like it’s good to know that you don’t actually need to be uber-connected to survive. Then, any connecting/keeping up you do feels more voluntary than mandatory and that’s just more fun!

    January 19, 2015 at 6:58 PM
    • Reply Allison

      That’s WONDERFUL to hear!! And I like that you’re aiming to connect and focus on quality/not quantity.

      Keep me posted on how you do this!

      January 20, 2015 at 10:21 AM
  • Reply Gray

    Yep. Balance. Balance. Balance.

    It’s funny. I’m beating myself up this morning because Andrew is out of town right now and last night instead of reading the great book I’ve currently got going, I sat and scrolled Instagram + Twitter with some really serious crap on the TV. I’m not proud.

    It’s all about balance and today, I’ll read on my lunch break instead of phoning.

    Good luck!


    January 20, 2015 at 5:33 AM
    • Reply Allison

      I DID THE SAME THING!!!! Adam was gone all night and I literally switched between social accounts for like 2 hours and watched Zoolander instead of reading a book or calling a friend. Today is a new day. We can do it!!

      January 20, 2015 at 10:22 AM
  • Reply Kelly Brito

    I was caught in a bad rain late September. My phone burned. I decided not to buy a new one, to free myself from Social Media obsession.

    I found my old phone and use it wi-fi based only. I installed WhatsApp for message (family, friends, even work if needed). I do all work-related calls at the landline phone or Hangouts/Skype. It didn’t affect business one bit (yet, anyway).

    I am SO happy. I have not installed Twitter or FB on my phone and only check those when I’m on the computer. I only installed Instagram last week, but have yet to post something. I set my email to sync manually and check it maybe once a day (before bed).

    I disconnected and it feels really good. I have been reading more books, by the way. :) Good luck!

    January 20, 2015 at 6:59 AM
    • Reply Allison

      That’s amazing, Kelly! I haven’t gone quite as far but I currently don’t get any notifications except texts on my phone. That has been so nice. I also try to only check twitter on the web. Instagram is my weakness!!

      January 20, 2015 at 10:24 AM
  • Reply Jocelyn

    This is often a debate I have with myself!! What a struggle, but as one of the commenters said I think it’s about what comes natural to us at we should focus on.

    We shouldn’t necessarily force ourselves to post on every media outlet, all the time. We should be posting on the ones that we enjoy doing so, and perhaps checking in every certain amount of time (whatever works for each individual) that aren’t so much fun.

    Social media can keep us informed, but if we aren’t careful it sucks us in, so yes *balance* is super important. =)

    January 20, 2015 at 10:38 AM
    • Reply Allison

      YES! So so true. I took the Facebook connect icon off my blog because…I never post there and I hate being on FB!

      January 20, 2015 at 8:39 PM
  • Reply Martin Césare

    Since I was able to buy my first smartphone I’ve encountered that same problem. I still need to find the right way to filter off the notifications that can wait or are spam. Since I’m not very active on Twitter, which is the only social network where I interact, those notifications are fine, emails pop up more often than I wish.

    I found that creating a filter in gmail to mark some emails as read as soon as they arrive has had a positive effect on my phone notifications. This way I don’t get newsletters or twitter emails on the phone.

    January 21, 2015 at 1:26 AM
    • Reply Allison

      I finally turned off my email notifications and I don’t even get a badge unless I force push it/refresh it. WAY better!!

      January 21, 2015 at 1:34 PM
  • Reply Audrey

    Right. On.

    I have so many books I want to read and I don’t ever get around to it, but I can tell you everything that happened on Instagram. I think it’s about carving out time. I need to prioritize time to be artistic just like I prioritize time for the gym. I’ve set a goal of reading one chapter a night of a book. Like a paper-backed book with actual pages that smell like the 60s.

    January 21, 2015 at 9:47 AM
    • Reply Allison

      ME TOO! Like, I think I own 50 books that I need to read. I’ve been carving out “creative time” too because if it isn’t planned, it might not happen.

      January 21, 2015 at 1:36 PM
  • Reply Mary

    Deleted Facebook this month. BEST I tell you.

    January 22, 2015 at 8:20 AM
    • Reply Allison

      I’m so jealous!! Maybe I’ll do it too :)

      January 22, 2015 at 9:02 AM
  • Reply Lix

    I KNOW that if I disconnect, I’ll love it. But I’ll also stress because it will affect business. I can’t afford (financially) to take a break. So I don’t. But I need to figure out a way to take little breaks, at least, because otherwise I’ll crash and burn.

    January 23, 2015 at 6:30 PM
    • Reply Allison

      Me too, lady. ME TOO. I have found that scheduling tweets is a life saver. Then I pop on to chat with people during lunch or after work. Instagram just sucks up my time because it’s so pretty.

      January 23, 2015 at 7:31 PM
  • Reply Anna

    This is so much true!

    January 23, 2015 at 6:31 PM
    • Reply Allison

      I’m glad I’m not alone, Anna!!

      January 23, 2015 at 7:31 PM
  • Reply Jessica

    I have definitely been struggling with this one. I think for me, I’m a compulsive engager. I always feel like I need to let people know I support their thoughts, photos, and ideas while also always sharing my own. Which makes me feel overwhelmed with media (when it’s increasingly negative) or it makes me feel like I spend way too much time online. I am working (very slowly) but working on that whole “put the phone down & don’t overly like anything” way of using the internet. But it’s very hard. Share your secrets if you have them!

    January 25, 2015 at 10:56 AM
    • Reply Allison

      I think I’m like that too. I like to affirm others, encourage and be “in the know.” I will share tips if I have any!! So far…”losing” my phone is the best method hahaha.

      January 30, 2015 at 12:56 PM
  • Reply weekend reading | 01.23.14 - Kory Woodard

    […] totally related to Allie’s post on disconnecting without disappearing. I try to stay away from social media as much as I can on the weekend, but sometimes it’s […]

    January 26, 2015 at 11:00 AM
  • Reply Starred this Week

    […] I can totally relate sometimes. […]

    January 30, 2015 at 5:15 PM
  • Reply Audrey | Brunch at Audrey's

    I can totally relate! That seems to be the general consensus in the comments haha. I was hoping to read a little more about HOW to disconnect without disappearing, so if you or anyone else comes up with anything, please do share! I actually just broke my smartphone :( like an hour ago. I’ve been looking up phones for the last few minutes and have been reading blog posts in between. Your blog post has given me an inconceivable idea: maybe I’ll get a dumbphone. -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey’s

    January 30, 2015 at 10:49 PM
    • Reply Allison

      I’ll be sure to update once I learn how to do it :) Adam just suggested we get flip phones for real and I kind of had an anxiety attack.

      January 31, 2015 at 11:10 PM
    • Reply Danielle

      I wrote a post on doing technology cleanses, maybe that will help? The “dumbphone” idea is one I’ve been hearing a lot lately, actually! I just deleted a bunch of apps off mine and turned off notifications. I have enough anxiety without everything coming straight to my phone and making it feel urgent haha.

      February 8, 2015 at 11:32 AM

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